Monday, March 21, 2011

Have You Ever Noticed?

 I read this an cracked up! The author gave me permission to re-post.

by Katie Drake

Now, I love the romance genre. I love to read it. I love to write it. I love the
experience of two people finding "the one". But am I the only one who sees a pattern emerging? The back of most romance novels could read like this. Bricker (because all men in romance novels have names that sound like last names or dog names) is an ex-special forces opperative (because no real romance man would be an accountant) who has lost hope in humanity. His time spent serving his country has left unseen scars on his soul (because PTSD is way sexier then the loss of a limb or a gunshot wound to the belly). He is troubled by unseen demons (being haunted by the spawn of Satan is much cooler than having bad dreams and
flashbacks). His life is turned upside down when he meets the beautiful (because romance women are all cast from the same mold as Angelina Jolie) Kevin (because all romance women have male names). 

Kevin is a successful attorney (because while all romance men barely passed their GED, romance women all went to Harvard on an academic scholarship) who has dedicated her entire life to her career
(because all romance women are workaholic spinsters at the age of 24). When the client of a pro bono murder case (because all romance men are demons and all romance women are saints) becomes obsessed with her, she must rely on Bricker to save her life (because romance women always put their lives in the hands of total strangers). Will their love be able to survive when things take a turn for the worst (because it can always get worse than being hunted by a homicidal maniac)?

(I wrote this to be fun. I know the effort it takes to complete a novel and I would never disrespect that process. Just wanted to make you all smile)
Posted by Valerie Mann at Monday, March 21, 2011
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12 comments:

  1. Rebecca RoyceMarch 27, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Awesome!!!

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  2. MaureenMarch 27, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    Oh, so perfectly put! ;-)

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  3. JMMarch 27, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Ha! That's funny. How true.

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  4. Kathleen Ann Gallagher's Place to ReflectMarch 27, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    Great post! I'm still laughing. Thanks, Valerie.

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  5. DeenaMarch 28, 2011 at 1:45 AM

    LOL! How hysterical is that? And so true! The names, Valerie, the names. I can't stand it! I need to get some tissues, I'm laughing so hard.

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  6. Stephanie WilliamsMarch 28, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    My sides hurt from laughing! :)

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  7. anny cookMarch 28, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    Absolutely true! Thank you!

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  8. Becca DaleMarch 28, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    LOL - Kernan, my hero, hunted by hell, spawn of demons and angels, captive of Satan during the years he should have been in college, and rescuer of a strong-minded and sarcastic woman, agrees. :-D

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  9. AnonymousMarch 28, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    Heh. Actually...I have a very rough outline floating around in my head for a storyline featuring a hero who is an accountant. Maybe I should jazz it up by making him an accountant who is a former CIA operative who is tormented by demonic spreadsheets.

    Great post!

    P. Kirby

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  10. Robert C RomanMarch 28, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    @Adobedragon - nah, just make him an accountant. I once got props for making an action hero named Bertram. I'm sure you can do the same for making an accountant a romance novel Hero.

    @Katie / @Val - yes, this is terrible true. That's honestly the thing that throws me out of the 'reader trance' the most - the names.

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  11. Valerie MannMarch 28, 2011 at 8:52 PM

    I'm so glad you all enjoyed this! I didn't write it, I gave credit to an aspiring author, Katie Drake. She's a funny gal!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Katie DrakeMarch 29, 2011 at 5:11 PM

    Thanks for all the love ;)

    ReplyDelete

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